As much as I want to imbibe the phrase, "No regrets," I just can't. There are just certain things in the past that I wish I could have done or have done in a different way.
But when I put my thoughts into it, I realize that there's no way I could have known that I would regret NOW what I have done in the past.
For example, taking up a degree in bachelor of nursing. I've wanted to be a nurse since, I think, kinder A. I even remember my classmates laughing at me because back then nursing is for girls. Haha. So what's the problem? Well now, I think it's really not for me. Academics, no problem with that, but I just think I would NOT be happy with this kind of career in the long run.
My original plan was to finish nursing and work for at least 5 years to save enough money for taking up culinary arts. I'm still trying to stick up to the plan, but I'm at the point where my anxiety's really because of the upcoming exams I have to take and I don't really have the confidence if I could survive them all. I know I sound like a BIG, BIG QUITTER, but I think this is just the way how I cope up with all this stress (and perhaps eating a lot, too).
I actually think this is one of the reasons why most of the time I'm agitated whenever my mom gives me her "I expect you to be on top" dialogues. Haha. I'm trying to focus to pass the exam, and yet here's the additional pressure that is not helping at all to make me overcome this crap. Weeh.
I really, really hope I could just shrug off these feelings and focus more on studying. I promise I will try my best to my stick to my original plan! Nursing today, culinary arts tomorrow! haha. October 11, I would be graduating. November 29 & 30, I would be taking the Nursing Licensure Exam! Haha. I can do this!
i think nanay talked to you na or apologized about whatever she said that stressed you out.
ReplyDeleteshe didn't expect you'd take it too heavily, since we do that to each other (karinyo brutal).
we believe in you... kaya andyan ang expectations. brush it off and just focus on passing the exam. kapatid, kahit di ka pumasa sa board exam this November, you're still the same person. we're your family and alam mong walang iwanan no matter what (well, y'know what i mean... dito ko cebu eh hehehe). wag ka masyadong padala sa celebrations ng mga kasama mo. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.
what you're feeling right now - confused, depressed, stressed, etc. - that's just normal. i experienced that myself a million times and you're a witness to that. whatever you wanna do in life, whatever would make you happy, dun ka, okay?
about culinary, that's the best way to do it - earn enough to pursue that dream. only you can make it happen so stop all that depression. i know a lot of people who'll still love you NO MATTER WHAT... and me, nanay, tatay are just 3 of them. :)
TEKA, kala ko ba september ang graduation nyo? baket di mo sinabi na october 11 na pala?!?!
tentative date plang ung oct 11. waah
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